You are just in time for what some have claimed to be the finest hour of the day; just before the crack of dawn.
Morning arrives early at the Olde Fogie Farm. So early that just now from around the bend comes the sun; rubbing clouds from its eyes. Already Farmer Tom is up out of bed. He stirs a teaspoon of sugar into his morning tea. It is black and strong like the shadows that hide from the face of the yawning sun. The little dog under the coal stove sniffs at the frying bacon. Outside in the chilly pasture sheep quietly huddle together to keep warm. The sun climbs up over the barnyard. Dew drop laden grass scatters a million sparkles in return. Atop the barn roof a single solitary silhouette bows then straightens up. For a moment you hear nothing, then the fine tenor of his voice cracks across the valley. Right on time - and always a little too early for some - is the official start of morning as announced by Rochester Rooster.
Thanks to such picturesque scenes, there exists the widely held misconception that roosters crow just once at the crack of dawn. However, those who know Rochester complain that he starts before dawn and doesn't let up until everyone has rolled out of bed and gotten down to the breakfast table.
I am Rochester Rooster resident lead tenor at the Olde Fogie Farm Inn, and I couldn't agree more with the both of them. Little do most people realize that we roosters put in a full day (and night's) work announcing the time and temperature. In the cities there are special clock towers everywhere that tell hours, minutes, seconds, days and the other atmospheric facts. On the farm, we don't let machines do something mother nature does better. No way, we've always done the job and we've always done it right. (We're unionized you know.) Some people notice us calling out the minutes and think we're crowing about nothing. If they check their watches, then they would understand. You can set your watch by us. Only thing is - we don't all crow by the same clock.
Anyhow, life's better secrets are left to those who listen to them. Fortunately, the Olde Fogies have listened. You should have seen the place before farmer Tom and farmist Biz arrived in 1961. When they began here it was worse than Ma and Pa Kettle! Aside from it being good green land, there wasn't much to crow about. It required real heart and soul to keep going. We animals cheered them on through the years. Soon the farm had earned [and maintains] the distinguished four pig rating. I attribute this status to them being good listeners and successful students of sleep learning. Over the years, I have been suggesting nightly and they have been doing daily. They may think they have thought up the wonderful things on the farm. The truth is, it is our farm, and we only let them take care of it.
So I ask you now, "have we animals done an excellent job or what?" Thanks to us, you guests may now enjoy the newly installed hot tub. I think you will feel very refreshed afterward. Rather than using harsh chemicals to keep the water fresh, it has an ozone generator to purify the water (that was my idea). Also last year, the old murky farm pond was renovated into a clear beautiful water garden. As Biz describes it, "it's an Esther Williams type" pond. It has three waterfalls, dozens of water lilies and some very happy Japanese Koi.
While I thought it was fun to watch you splashing this summer, I am not much for water ballet or synchronized swimming. I personally think this wrinkle was a suggestion originating with the ducks. I keep my mind on the little ones that toddle through the barnyard. They soften Biz's hand to turn over the keys to the corn crib and that is very good for my kind. I take my position here very seriously. As long as it is fun for me and the other farm critters it will be fun for the Olde Fogies.
I think the world of you - John and Jane Q. Guest. You make this a great place to live. The farm has over sixty some families that come to visit almost every year! There are such wonderful things written in the guest journal in each room. Biz says that you love me in spite of the early morning wake up calls. And you forgive that we roosters seem to crow about any old thing; but we don't cock-a-doodle do about nothing. When you have the Olde Fogie Farm, you have something to crow about. We all have to admit that you are the ones who truly sound the praises of the farm. For that, the Fogies wish to thank you.
This year the Olde Fogies wish to share the winter season's calm and cozy atmosphere by hosting romantic getaways. Would you like to disappear and relax with that special someone, share a dinner for two, and have breakfast served to you when you are ready for it? Would you like to enjoy an in room massage? Call and request a reservation today. Do you know a couple that would enjoy that very ambiance? Get them a gift certificate. Do this before January 31, 2001 and save 10%. Actually, you may enjoy the same 10% discount on any reservation made for the 2001 season provided you make it before January 31, 2001!
It was my idea to arrange for the 10% discount. So when it is chore time, just remember that I appreciate my corn shelled not cracked. By the way, did you know that we roosters delay the A.M. wake up on the weekends? (If you believe that last one, I ought to tell you about the fox guarding the henhouse.)
Rochester R. Rooster.
The R is for 'Red'
P.S. I wanted to give you the news sooner, but I had a very bad case of laryngitis. It was horrible. My understudies had to fill in for the hourly all's well. At least everyone thought I had laryngitis... in the end it seemed I had a chip of the old writers block caught in my throat. Thanks to the ever capable farmist Biz, I was able clear it away and to scratch out the news.